Clitoris Stimulation: Tips for Solo and Partner Sex
We reached out to experts and dug through the research to put together a guide for clitoral stimulation. Here’s how to get started. All
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Medically reviewed by Tahirah Redhead MPAS, PA-C, MPH — Written by Jennifer Chesak, MSJ and Gabrielle Kassel — Updated on November 2, 2024You’ll find the clitoris at the top of the labia surrounding the vagina, but this nerve-dense structure extends deep into the body. You can stimulate the many nerves in the clit with both internal and external play.
If you have a clitoris or have a partner with a clitoris, you’d be wise to learn about the nerve-dense body part.
While the clitoris is less of an anatomical anomaly than major media outlets may have tricked you into believing, learning a few touch techniques can help.
That’s why we reached out to experts and dug through the research to put together a guide for clitoral stimulation. Below, learn how to touch your (or a partner’s) clit in a way that’s seriously satisfying.
How to stimulate your own clitoris
1. Start slow and soft
It takes the clitoris time to get aroused. You might find it helpful to touch your labia or stroke around the clitoris until you’re ready for direct stimulation.
When you do start touching your clit, start out with gentle strokes. Then, apply more pressure or speed as your body asks for it.
2. Explore a variety of techniques
Different techniques can elicit different types of pleasure, and how you go about stimulating yourself is completely up to you.
Here are a few different clitoral stimulation techniques you might try:
- Aye, there’s the rub: Use your hand, fingers, or a sex toy to slide up and down or back and forth across your clitoris and clitoral hood.
- Tap dance: A gentle tapping motion on your clit and hood can help you slowly build to orgasm. Speed it up as you wish.
- Get in the grind: No hands are required, and you don’t need to take off your clothes. (It can be better if you leave those jeans on!) Straddle a pillow and grind your pelvis to get there.
- Peace pinch: Use your first two fingers like a peace sign to softly pinch your clitoral hood and gently tug up and down, or slide your fingers in a back-and-forth motion.
- Orbit the planet: Use a finger to trace slow circles around your clit and hood, touching your labia in the process.
- Fun zones: You may become aroused and even orgasm by massaging other erogenous zones. You might try touching your labia, vaginal opening, inner thigh, perineum, or anus. Lie on your stomach and reach backward for easier access. This is also a great position to get your grind on while touching yourself.
- Penetration station: The internal structures of the clitoris encircle the vaginal canal, so penetration with your fingers or a sex toy can bring bliss. Combine with any of the above external techniques for a double delight.
- Good vibes: You can use a vibrating sex toy to enhance or practice any method mentioned above. Vibrators can be especially good for those who need to put minimal movement on their hands or wrists. Use the lowest setting first and increase as desired.
3. Consider internal stimulation
Try reaching about a third of the way from the vaginal opening and playing with a mix of pressure and stimulation on the front (or upper) wall of your vagina to see what feels good.
It may take some practice and experimentation to locate, but it can be well worth it if you find that extra sensitive internal trigger spot.
How to stimulate a partner’s clitoris
1. Ask for guidance
Frame the question around how invested you are in discovering their pleasure points and taking the time to do so — without placing pressure on them to perform.
You might say:
- “I’d love to watch you touch your own clit, so I can learn how you like having it touched.”
- “Do you enjoy the pressure I’m using right now? Or do you want it softer or harder?”
- “Which sensation feels best? This demo? Or this demo?”
2. Get handsy
Many positions allow you space to stimulate the clit while having penetrative sex. The missionary, amazon, and spooning sex positions are especially good for this.
So, you might reach between your partner’s legs and play. Or, you might invite them to do the same.
3. Pull in pillow props
Grinding against something can be super pleasurable for people who enjoy pressure.
If your partner is a pressure-seeker, consider placing a pillow or bunched-up blankets under their pubic bone. Then, allow them to hump and pump the prop while you penetrate (or lick!) them from behind.
4. Get freaky with furniture
Use your surroundings to help you get into an optimal position.
You might, for example, rest your back against the headboard or couch. Then, have your partner straddle your hips, grabbing the back for support. Their clit is now within perfect reach for you to put the tips above into practice.
5. Ride and glide
Get into a seated or slightly reclined position, then encourage your partner to slide up and down your thigh or pubic bone.
You or your partner might incorporate lube for added oomph. This can reduce uncomfortable friction and increase the feel-good glide.
6. Reverse the ride
The reverse rider position has your partner straddle you, but you’ll be facing away from them.
If you have a penis or strap-on, you can use this position to vaginally or anally penetrate your partner. As you thrust, your partner can reach their hand between their legs to rub their nub.
If you and your partner both have a clitoris, slide several pillows under the bottom partner’s pelvis. This will alter the angle of your hips just enough that clit-on-clit contact becomes possible.
7. Thigh high
This is a twist on the reverse rider position. Instead of having your partner straddle both your legs, have them straddle just one.
This will allow them to ride up and down your thigh. Vaginal penetration with a penis, hand, or toy works well here.
8. Tongue twister
Does your partner enjoy oral? Use your tongue to gently circle your partner’s clitoris and hood with a mix of pressure.
Another option is to use an air suction toy, which creates a similar sensation to oral sex when used with lube.
9. Add in a sex toy
Placed next to or on top of the clitoris, vibrators can produce a sensation that the human body can’t.
For many people, using a vibrator results in quicker, more intense orgasms.
10. Keep it varied
Don’t be shy about mixing it up until you find the position, pressure, and rhythm that feels good to your boo.
Playtime possibilities:
- Switch the direction of your rub.
- Add or subtract pressure.
- Alter or mix techniques.
- Speed up or slow down the rhythm.
- Change the number of fingers.
- Add or change toys.
- Switch between external stimulation and vaginal penetration.
The bottom line
Whether during solo play or with a partner, if a certain technique doesn’t take you to cloud nine, that’s OK. Remember: Clitoral stimulation isn’t a one-size-fits-all ritual. And there’s still a lot to learn about it.
Researchers didn’t produce a 3D image of the full clitoral structure until 2008. Before then, not much was understood about the clit’s really cool internal parts and how they interact with the rest of the genital area.
So while scientific research lags behind on studying the clit, that’s all the more reason for you to do your own independent (or partnered) study on what gets you off.
How we reviewed this article:
SourcesHistoryHealthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. We only use quality, credible sources to ensure content accuracy and integrity. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.- https://academic.oup.com/jsm/article-abstract/5/2/413/6862180
- Buisson O, et al. (2008). Sonography of the clitoris.
- Deysach S. (2022). Personal interview.
- Neal, C. (2022). Personal interview.
- Prause N, et al. (2016). Clitorally stimulated orgasms are associated with better control of sexual desire, and not associated with depression or anxiety, compared with vaginally stimulated orgasms.
- Sadat D. (2018). Personal interview.
- Uloko M, et al. (2023). How many nerve fibers innervate the human glans clitoris: a histomorphometric evaluation of the dorsal nerve of the clitoris.
Share this article
SourcesHistoryHealthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. We only use quality, credible sources to ensure content accuracy and integrity. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.- https://academic.oup.com/jsm/article-abstract/5/2/413/6862180
- Buisson O, et al. (2008). Sonography of the clitoris.
- Deysach S. (2022). Personal interview.
- Neal, C. (2022). Personal interview.
- Prause N, et al. (2016). Clitorally stimulated orgasms are associated with better control of sexual desire, and not associated with depression or anxiety, compared with vaginally stimulated orgasms.
- Sadat D. (2018). Personal interview.
- Uloko M, et al. (2023). How many nerve fibers innervate the human glans clitoris: a histomorphometric evaluation of the dorsal nerve of the clitoris.
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